


Burning Up

by CruelBeauty



Series: Heat [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Artists, Anxiety, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, M/M, Phichit does jewelry, Recovery, Suicide Attempt, Support, Viktor is an author, Yuri is an intern, Yuuri is an artist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2018-12-20 04:49:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11913558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CruelBeauty/pseuds/CruelBeauty
Summary: Yuuri and Viktor work on their relationship and grow together, even when it isn't easy.AkaViktor is an author and Yuuri is an artist au.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **********Sequel to A Fired Love *************
> 
> Read that first~!

They are in a pool outside. The water is warm, warmer than normal but not uncomfortably so. The sun casts a warm feeling over their exposed heads and arms, no doubt giving them tans. Or in Viktor’s case burns. Yuuri is wearing pink swim trunks and no shirt, something Viktor insisted. 

He knew Yuuri was self conscious about his pudge still but Viktor wanted to feel all of it, be able to look at his beautiful Yuuri in his natural form. Of course if Yuuri had refused he would have accepted it but Yuuri had seen his bright smile and been unable to not do it. Knowing he was being ridiculous as normal since he knew Viktor loved it. Viktor loved every inch of his body. All the acne and scars and fat. It was all Yuuri and therefore lovely. As they swam longer and longer his beloved became completely comfortable, letting Viktor run his hands over it and not bothering to cover it up.

Viktor wore blue swim trunks that were probably too small, but he couldn’t care less. The tips of his silver hair is wet and hanging lower than normal and swishes gently when a breeze happens. Yuuri’s hair is completely wet and slicked back. His glasses gone, giving Viktor an unobstructed view of his amazing eyes that seem to be a golden brown color, lighter than normal.

They were alone. Fruity drinks set over to the side along with their towels. No one anywhere near, well except for Makkachin inside. Birds chirped beautifully in the distance.

Two rings were present. One on Viktor’s hand and one on Yuuri’s. A matching set. They were married and living in Hasetsu, but on Vacation in America for a new exhibit of Yuuri’s. They wanted to arrive a couple days early to just relax.

They had rented a house in the country with brick walls and a garden overflowing with flowers and wildlife. Yuuri and Viktor both agreed it had been an amazing choice to stay there instead of a hotel.

Yuuri would swim gentle laps as Viktor did also, stopping every few minutes to just wrap their arms around each other and kiss. Occasionally Viktor would snatch Yuuri unexpectedly, causing the shorter man to laugh loudly and playfully hit Vikor until he set him back down, causing a wave in the water. The water sloshing gently onto warm concrete surrounding the pool, soon to be dried up by the sun.

Viktor went to the shallow end and sat down, the water covering only his lap and stomach and beckoning Yuuri over. His amazing fiancee immediately comes over and lets Viktor take his hand. “Sit on my lap.”

Yuuri huffs and rolls his eyes. “I am much too heavy for that.”

Viktor gasps. “Yuuri, you and I both know that isn’t true. Now get over here.” Viktor said and gently tugged on Yuuri’s arm, trying to get him to lower onto his lap. “I’ll be sad if you don’t.”

Yuuri made an annoyed sound but lowered himself onto his lap, his knees on the outside of his legs. Their faces mere inches apart from each other. Yuuri could see every single detail of Viktor’s face this close, The brilliant blue of his eyes, the crinkles forming at the corner of his eyes from years of laughter and smiling. Something Viktor began to treasure, a sign of how different his life once was.

The light reflects off of the pool and puts moving highlights on his face. “See, this isn’t bad at all now is it?” Viktor says softly, trying not to break the moment.

Yuuri shakes his head gently and lets his eyes continue to roam his face. They both lean forward at the same time and kiss. It starts off slow and sweet, just a gentle slide of lips as the warm water gently moves in the background. Then Viktor lifts his hand adorned by a ring and lets it cup the back of Yuuri’s head, bringing it closer for a deeper kiss. Their tongues meeting and moving against each others. Occasionally pulling back to pull on the other’s lips with their teeth gently.

Eventually they pull back slowly, to be able to meet each other's eyes. “Yuuri, I love you so much.”

Yuuri gave a bright smile and giggled softly, letting his hand run through Viktor’s hair, making it more wet. “I love you too.” He replies with nothing but honesty written on his face.

“I’m sorry.” Viktor says as he sees the frown overtake Yuuri’s face.

Viktor gives a small almost sad smile and kisses Yuuri sweetly just once. The water was growing colder and colder, the birds were becoming quieter and quieter.

“Why?” He questions so innocently as he starts to shiver. Or wait, is he the one shivering.

Viktor gives a small sad smile. “Because my love,” Viktor begins as he lets his fingers glide across his fiancees arms. “None of this is real. You are not here, we are not married. And this is not water, this is my blood.” He says simply as his Yuuri begins to cry.

Viktor leans forward and shares a last kiss with his love as everything grows colder and colder.

Something many people didn’t know was Yuuri’s favorite artist has always been Van Gogh. The flowing lines and interpretations of color and light really spoke to him. The way the pieces almost seemed to glow. Then on top of that to remember how tragically sad he was made Yuuri’s heart hurt. That this world famous artist died thinking no one would ever care about him or his art. Whenever Yuuri doubts his importance or the quality of his art he often thought of Van Gogh, sitting in the hospital, wishing it would all be over. Never possibly imagining how much of an inspiration he would be for millions and millions of people.

A distinct memory of everyone who knew Yuuri in college was when he spoke for the first time in class to rant at a guy who said Van Gogh’s art would have been nothing without his depression. Yuuri made sure to explain quite thoroughly how that wasn’t true. Depression doesn’t define you as a person or determine how good your art is. His art would have been just as good if not better if he hadn’t been depressed. Not to mention such ideas left artists feeling as though they couldn’t take medication they needed without losing their talent.

What they didn’t know was that at a point Yuuri’s depression had become quite crippling, for fear of losing his talent he didn’t take anything. Leaving him without medicine that he truly needed.

Things became dark. Bleak. Empty.

Eventually through love, support, and kindness he eventually began taking pills. For weeks and months Yuuri waited for his talent to go away but instead it only grew. The medicine allowed him the ability to work longer and more clearly. Not to mention he just felt better overall. 

Yuuri knew how dangerous the stigma has become. He knew friends who refused to take medication and he himself had problems with it. He just didn’t realize how personally it was truly going to affect him that day he left the airport.

Viktor thought it would be a beautifully ironic picture. His last work being a suicide note.

He couldn’t help but wonder if the publishing company in the frenzy of greed would publish that too. 

His pale wrists with red ribbons running down them as the note lay innocently on the living room table in perfect and clear script. The red forming a puddle around his lifeless body in the tub. He didn’t want to make a mess after all. 

Then of course there was the newspapers. They would probably advertise it as a tragedy that no one saw coming. As though they all were so concerned. No doubt the newspapers will stop by the publishing company and all of the people who have exploited him will say how deeply saddened by the loss they are. Like they couldn’t tell they were working him to death and talked about him behind his back and to his face. That they couldn’t see the weight leaving his body or the frown perpetually on his face.

Viktor knew he would be hurting Yuuri but at least with time Yuuri would realize it was actually a good thing. At least this way everything is decided. He doesn’t need to disappoint his father or Yuuri. He’ll simply be done. 

He decided he wanted his last thoughts to be of a beautiful day in the sun with his Yuuri. If he was going to die he at least would allow himself to imagine an amazing life he will never get to have.


	2. Chapter 2

It takes the average person around ten to twenty minutes to die from slitting their wrists depending on the size of the cuts and how it was done.

By minute five Viktor was feeling relaxed and was spending his time imagining Yuuri.

By minute six Yuuri was shuffling outside of the apartment door trying to get the nerve to knock.

By minute seven Viktor had completely accepted his fate.

By minute eight Yuuri knocked on the door.

By minute nine Viktor didn’t hear it.

By minute ten Yuuri had knocked multiple times and tried calling him to no response.

By minute eleven Viktor’s phone on the table had several missed calls. None of which he heard.

By minute twelve Yuuri was concerned. Viktor had called him earlier so he was clearly home.

By minute thirteen the blood was running cold.

By minute fourteen Yuuri cautiously opened the door and looked around.

By minute fifteen Yuuri saw the note on the living room table.

Sometimes things just feel wrong. Especially when you have anxiety. For Yuuri, he knew things were weird that day in those minutes. Viktor is usually so quick to pick up his phone when he calls. Even when he was at work it was known for Viktor to answer his calls anyway. For Viktor to be home and not answering the door or his phone was very strange.

To see the note on the table was just the confirmation that his typically irrational fears were actually correct for once.

Yuuri ran to the bathroom and slammed the door open, an indent made on the wall from the impact. He immediately kneeled down onto the cold ground, his knees taking his weight. “NO. no. Viktor!” Yuuri called with tears building in his eyes as he reached into the tub and brought one of the blood covered hands up and desperately tried to cover the cut with his hand.

Though Viktor wanted to die he didn’t do it as deeply as needed to die in the normal time frame. Though a lot of blood was being shed, it was actually not as much as one would think. It just seems like a lot due to how it spreads.

“Viktor, please wake up.” Yuuri called and was happy when Viktor began to blearily open his eyes.

“Yuuri?” Viktor said weakly and tried to look around. Yuuri let out a deep, shaking breath and tried to stay focused.

He looked around frantically and grabbed a roll of toilet paper and ripped huge chunks off of it and began winding it around his wrists, uncaring of the blood dripping all over the ground. After the first wrist was done he picked up his other arm and did the same. 

Once his wrists were covered Yuuri stood and bent over to put a hand under Viktor and hauled him up and out of the tub, leaving the shallow pool of blood behind. He set Viktor on the ground gently and ran into the living room, grabbed a blanket, and returned to wrap Viktor in it. He was shaking so much.

He kneeled down and tried to apply pressure to the cuts to get them to stop bleeding as tears continuously ran down his face. The thin tissue was absorbing the blood quickly and letting the overflow run down his arms and over the rest of his body.

He rummaged through the bottom of the bathroom cabinet, smearing blood everywhere, throwing what he didn’t want out of the way until he finally found the first aid kit. His shaking hands grabbed gauze pads and medical tape. He needs to stay calm and do this right.

Yuuri looks at the blood soaked paper and applies the gauze pads, tightly winding the medical tape around his wrists to keep a firm pressure against the cuts. By some miracle of god Viktor hadn’t cut more deeply. If he had he surely would have been dead. Thankfully he should make a full physical recovery with time. Emotionally though. That is a whole different situation.

Never had Yuuri been so glad to know so much about suicide. It turns out that health class he was forced to take in college was worth it.

Yuuri did the same to the other wrist and once finished he took Viktor’s head in his blood soaked hands, uncaring of the blood it was leaving on his face.

“Yuuri?” He said slurred.

Even more tears began to fall from Yuuri’s eyes. “Yes, Vitya. I’m here.” Yuuri said and very gently gave Viktor a hug, careful to not move his arms. Pulling back to lightly kiss his forehead. He was gonna be okay.

Viktor tried to adjust himself but Yuuri stopped his movements. “Try not to move, okay?” Yuuri said with a thick voice, the tears a constant flow down his face.

Viktor didn’t respond but just nodded, his mind was busy trying to piece together what happened. How was Yuuri here? 

“I’m gonna move you now, okay?” Yuuri said gently and lifted Viktor up as gently as he possibly could and found Viktor’s bedroom and laid him on the bed. Yuuri kissed Viktor gently on the forehead and went into the kitchen to get a washcloth. He ran some warm water to coat the rag before ringing it out.

Yuuri came back to the bedroom and was relieved to see Viktor’s eyes still open and just watching Yuuri’s movements. Yuuri gently set himself on the edge of the bed with the rag. “I’m gonna get you cleaned up okay? But first I’m gonna take your clothes off since they are covered in cold blood okay?” Yuuri asked but knew would get no response. As much as he didn’t want to move Viktor around too much the clothes were cold and going to become stiff from the blood.

Viktor nodded and Yuuri gently undid Viktor’s pants and wiggled them off of his small frame with relative ease. He had lost so much weight, his clothes were so loose on him. He threw the blood covered pants on the floor and then took his boxers off of him and replaced with the blanket over his bloody body, trying to retain his heat. Then Yuuri took off his shirt and put it with the rest of his bloody clothes.

“I don’t want to try and put new clothes on you because it’ll tug on your arms so I am gonna just put you in boxers and clean you up with this rag and then tuck you in bed okay?” Yuuri said and brought the rag up to his face and began gently wiping it, pushing his bloody hair out of the way.

Viktor’s eyes followed Yuuri the whole time. Looking at the blood all down Yuuri’s arms and all over his chest. His pants. How was it that Yuuri had showed up at exactly the right time. Like some type of miracle. How was he so perfect? How was it someone so fucked up has such an amazing person love and care about him so much? All Viktor knew was he didn’t deserve him.

Once Yuuri was done with his face he went back to the kitchen and got several more rags for the rest of his body. Using the same care and precision he used on his face he washed the rest of his body. Making sure every trace of the blood was gone except for the blood soaked gauzes on his wrists. He even tried to get the blood out of his hair as best as he could. He knew Viktor loved his hair to look good..

After he was clean Yuuri gently picked him up and tucked him into bed, peeling off the blood soaked blanket on top and adding it to the growing pile of blood covered things. He then went to the living room and grabbed two clean blankets and brought them back, putting them on top of the rest of the bedding. “If you get cold just tell me okay?” Yuuri said softly and Viktor nodded.

Yuuri went over to the dresser and pulled out some of Viktor’s clothes and put them on himself, he couldn’t stand the overwhelming stench of blood on himself. Yuuri then went over to the side of the bed and leaned down. He gently took Viktor’s hands out from under the blankets and into his lap to inspect them. “I’ll change the gauze later okay? For now try not to move your arms too much and maybe get some sleep. You are probably tired.” Yuuri says, his voice laced with sadness.

“Okay.” Viktor says softly. He can feel the burn in his arms. Everything seems to hurt and smell like blood. Except Yuuri. Somehow Yuuri always smells like home and happiness and everything Viktor can’t have.

“I love you, Vitya.” Yuuri chokes out and gets up from the bed before he starts sobbing in front of him. “I’m gonna go clean the bathroom. I’ll check on you every ten minutes or so. But if you need something before then just call for me.” He says and leaves before the tears that were welling in his eyes fall.

Once Yuuri is gone Viktor looks up at the ceiling. What was he doing? Yuuri loved him. He made Yuuri see him almost die. Yuuri deserves better. He should have finished the job right the first time. Now Yuuri realizes he's suicidal he is never going to leave Viktor even though he wants to. Now he has really trapped Yuuri with him.

Viktor sighs and painfully moves his arms so they are at his side under the bed. He can feel the tears going down his face, but he is in too much pain to wipe them off. 

Yuuri takes a deep breath before stepping into the bathroom and nearly throwing up. There is blood everywhere. It covers the tub and the walls and the floor. Droplets cover every surface and the thick scent is all in the air making it impossible to breathe. Yuuri immediately turns to face away from it and can feel a sob forming in his throat and tears down his face. His poor Viktor. He was all alone and scared and miserable and he would have died. Why hadn’t Yuuri been here to help him earlier? He had known Viktor was depressed. He should have offered to come live with him in Saint Petersburg. 

After drying his tears and mentally preparing himself Yuuri goes back into the bathroom and begins the long process of cleaning the room. He uses a sponge to scrub the walls and the tub, the water a terrible pink color that seems to never go away no matter how much he works on it. He doesn’t know if there will ever be a worse feeling than having to drain your boyfriend’s blood from a tub. Watching the cold blood sink down the drain.

Once everything looks as it should be he returns to the bedroom and collects the clothes and blankets into a pile. “I’m gonna go wash this stuff, okay Viktor?” Yuuri asks as he carefully looks over Viktor to make sure he is okay.

Viktor turns and nods then closes his eyes as he listens to Yuuri shuffling around. Viktor keeps his eyes closed in the hopes he won't cry more. He doesn’t want Yuuri to have to see.

Once everything is in the washer Yuuri goes to the fridge in the hopes of there being food to cook for Viktor but it's empty except for a few old cartons of take out food. Yuuri contemplates for a moment and sighs. He is going to have to get them food but he also doesn't want to leave Viktor. They are gonna have to settle for something ordered out, unfortunately. Not the best thing for someone who just went through something terrible to eat but he needs to eat something.

Yuuri finds an impressive stack of take out menus and orders some soups to have delivered. Once food is ordered Yuuri finds antibacterial spray and sprays the bathroom until it smells less like blood. Thank goodness. He doesn’t want to have to deal with that reminder even though it’s not like this apartment will ever be anything other that the image of Viktor laying in the tub with his wrists slit.

“Vitya?” Yuuri says softly and steps into Viktor’s room. Viktor leans up a little and meets his eyes. Yuuri can tell he has been crying.

“I ordered us some food okay? It'll be here in thirty minutes or so. In the meantime I'm gonna clean your bandages okay?” Yuuri says gently and goes near his side of the bed. “Can you get up on your own?” 

“Yeah.” Viktor says quietly and swings his legs over the side of the bed as Yuuri wraps an arm around his waist to help him up. 

They slowly make their way back into the bathroom with a blanket draped over his shoulders. It makes Yuuri cringe to bring Viktor back to the bathroom but the odds are blood is going to getting places and he doesn’t want it all over Viktor’s room. Yuuri sets him on the lid of the toilet as gently as he can. Yuuri carefully peels off the tape and the gauze. Instantly causing the wound to start bleeding again. Yuuri uses a rag to gently clean the area before covering it again in new gauze as Viktor scrunches his face in pain. “I'm sorry.” Yuuri says as he moves onto the next arm. “I'll be finished soon.” Yuuri says in the softest voice he can manage and does the same to his other wrist. 

Once they are done Yuuri helps him walk back to bed as he settles in again. Yuuri sits on the edge of the bed and begins running his hand gently through Viktor’s hair in a constant manner. Hoping to provide some sort of comfort to him. Yuuri let's his mind wander as they sit in the silent room.

“Yuuri?” Viktor says softly, causing the hand going through his hair to stop for a moment.

“Yes?” 

“Do you hate me now?” Viktor asks with a quivering voice. He can't stand the thought of Yuuri hating him even though he knows he deserves it. How could Yuuri not hate him after he made Yuuri see all of that and be tied to him now. 

Yuuri made a sad sound. “Oh Vitya, never. I could never hate you, and especially not for that. I love you very much and it'll be alright. We can talk more tomorrow but I promise I don't hate you.” He says with the most sad and soft voice. He wishes so desperately Viktor could see how much he loves him.

“Promise?” Viktor asks hesitantly.

“Promise.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Well if you were a better boyfriend this wouldn’t have happened.”

Yuuri’s heart dropped and his breath caught in his throat. “What do you mean?” He knew what he meant but he just wished it maybe wasn’t. 

“Oh please, you and I both know I am suicidal. If you had been a better boyfriend and took better care of me then this wouldn’t have happened. I needed you to answer my call and you didn’t.”

Yuuri swallowed and briefly closed his eyes to try and keep the tears from overflowing onto his face. Yuuri can’t bring himself to respond.

“If I end up dying, it’s on you.”

Yuuri let the tears fall and looked at the ground in shame. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah you should be, I have been upset all day. What kind of boyfriend are you?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. I’ll do better next time.” Yuuri squeaked out as the sobs threatened to choke him. “I was just so tired. It had been a really long day.”

“Always the fucking excuses.”

Yuuri could feel the panic attack filling his body. “I’m sorry, Mark. I’ll do better next time.”

“I can’t keep having the same conversation over and over again with you.” Mark said firmly, annoyance clearly written across his face. “You know you are supposed to take care of me. That’s what a relationship is. You can’t even do the most basic things I swear.”

After that things got a bit fuzzy for Yuuri. He knows Mark broke up with him for either the 3rd or 4th time. It was after a particularly grueling spell where Mark had needed him every night for three nights. Yuuri was beyond tired. His anxiety was out of control and his depression had taken a nasty turn for the worse. When he would finally ignore the call he would feel guilty and take it later only to get assaulted with guilt and shame for not answering it earlier.

A constant terrible cycle of doing as much as he can until he breaks, getting yelled at for breaking, and then in the span where they are broken up Yuuri recovers enough to do it all over again. 

At least it is only a dream and not the real thing anymore. He doesn’t think about Mark often but occasionally the asshole will slip into his dreams. He always had been a sneaky one.

People like to claim that getting a good night of sleep can completely change your outlook. Typically this isn’t the case for Viktor, today was one of the rare occurrences where it was true.

Looking back Viktor can see how he ended up on such a slippery slope that eventually led to suicide.

Work was stressing him out. He was lonely. Tired. Sometimes it makes it feel like the end of the world. His depression had been bad lately. It was like it was only gonna be a matter of time until it had happened, and it did.

Viktor ignores the pain in his arms to roll over and let himself look at Yuuri sleeping, his figure highlighted by the moonlight streaming in from the window. His sweet Yuuri who somehow was able to be there at just the right time. Normally what Viktor loves about watching Yuuri sleep is how relaxed and calm he looks. But right now he looks more stressed than he normally looks awake. His eyebrows are knitted together and his shoulders are up to his ears and he keeps making distressed sounds as he sleeps. He can’t help but wonder if he is the reason Yuuri seems so restless in his sleep.

Viktor knows he is going to have to apologize to Yuuri but he doesn’t even know where to begin. “Hey Yuuri, I’m sorry for trying to kill myself and making you clean me up and all of the blood and then I accused you of hating me and I did the same thing your abusive ex boyfriend did and I’m not sure how to fix this and what to do.”

He sighs and ignores the throbbing in his arm to gently trace Yuuri’s features and run his fingers through his silky hair. How is it Yuuri is so adorable and beautiful and yet think otherwise? Not only is he attractive but he has the most lovely personality. He is always so kind and gentle. He is a real life disney prince. He would definitely watch a whole movie about him.

At no point yesterday did Yuuri ever do anything to make him feel worse. He was always patient and as gentle as he could be. He never once made Viktor answer questions or explain why he did what he did. Yuuri is one of the best tempered people he knows, for him to be anything other than the best Mark must have been truly terrible.

Viktor leans forward and rests his head gently on the pillow Yuuri is on and presses forward until their noses are nearly touching and they are sharing the same air. Viktor looks at his face for a few minutes before allowing himself to close his eyes and try to push all of the bad thoughts and his responsibilities out of his mind for a moment and let sleep claim him.

The next time Viktor woke up it had to be sometime in the early morning, the light coming in from the window was warm and bright. He was willing to bet it was when his alarm normally went off. No doubt his phone was playing the obnoxious tone that woke him up wherever it is. At least it had an automatic shut off after five minutes or that alarm would be going off for awhile. There was absolutely no way in hell he was getting up right now. Not only was he in the same position as before he fell asleep but so was Yuuri, except for the fact Yuuri had wrapped an arm around Viktor and had pulled him as close to his body as possible.

Viktor knew he shouldn’t feel as at peace as he currently did. Yuuri was just so warm and comforting and amazingly familiar. Everything Viktor has been missing since he left Hasetsu. There is something so wonderful about feeling his Yuuri’s arms around him. It makes him believe for just a moment that he might not have screwed everything up. 

He lets his eyes roam over Yuuri’s face, he looks even more distressed than he did before. He looks like he is frowning and he is making small whimpering sounds. Viktor puts an arm around him comfortingly hoping it provides some type of comfort in his sleep. He can’t help but to wonder what he is dreaming about.

Shortly after Yuuri startles awake from his dream about Mark with a short inhale of air. No matter how many times he has these dreams they are just as bad every time. The dark haired man quickly lifts his head in a panic before his eyes meet Viktor’s. “Are you okay, Yuuri?” He asks concerned and sets up a little so he is in a similar position to Yuuri.

Yuuri tries to calm his racing heart and runs his hand over his face. “Yeah, I just had a bad dream.” He says before realization sets it. Why the hell was Viktor asking how he is after Viktor had such a terrible day yesterday. “Oh my god, Viktor. Are you okay? How long have you been awake? Do you need anything?” Yuuri asks in rapid fire succession.

Viktor feels a laugh bubble up inside of him. It shouldn’t be funny and yet the whole scenario just seems to make him want to laugh. Everything had seemed so bleak and terrible yesterday and today everything just feels simple. Like the answers were always there in front of his face and he had just never noticed them. “I’m okay, Yuuri.” Viktor says softly and lifts a hand up to Yuuri’s cheek, not missing the way his eyes looked at his bandages and the sad look it gives his eyes.

“I need to change your bandages again today.” Yuuri says gently as Viktor lets his thumb glide across his cheek softly.

“I know.” Viktor says in almost a whisper.

“Do you feel better today at all?” Yuuri asked hesitantly.

“A lot better, moya lubov.”

Yuuri could practically feel some of the tension leave his body. At least Viktor was calling him pet names again. That had to mean he was at least feeling better. Yuuri wasn’t sure what to do. He knows that Viktor and him need to have a talk about what happened but if Viktor is feeling a little bit better he doesn’t want to crush his spirit. Especially since he needs to be eating a little and recovering.Yuuri lets out a deep breath and decides not to have “the talk” with Viktor right now. “Let’s have breakfast and then I’ll change your bandages. Does that sound okay?” Yuuri questions as Viktor just smiles softly and strokes his cheek.

“That sounds fine, Yuuri. I love you.”

“I love you too, Viktor.” Yuuri responds gently. He knows Viktor and him have a lot to talk about, just not right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is short. I've been super busy. I'm hoping for a longer one next week.
> 
> Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

“It felt like I was drowning. Everything felt blue and dark, Yuuri.” Viktor took a deep breath. “It felt like the only option left.” He admitted with a quivering breath. Yuuri squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I don’t know how to describe it, it was all just so much. I’ve been so lonely and so focused on work. It all just piled up on top of me.”

Yuuri listened intently and nodded his head occasionally. It was all very hard to hear but Yuuri knew it was important he hear it. He wants to understand what Viktor is going through.”I realize now that I think work was killing me, literally. It made my depression so much worse. It was always bad but it went from bad to unbearable. It was so much stress and I missed you so much, Yuuri. I miss Hasetesu. I miss everything.” 

“Oh, Viktor. I’m sorry.” Yuuri said softly.

“No no, Yuuri. It’s not your fault. I should have realized Saint Petersburg wasn’t home anymore. None of this is your fault. You have been so helpful and so wonderful. I cannot thank you enough.”

“I’m always here for you.” Yuuri said and ran his hand soothingly through Viktor’s hair. 

“Yuuri, can I ask you something?” Yuuri’s hand paused in Viktor’s hair.

“Of course.”

“Before I left, you mentioned the idea of me moving in with you- is there any possibility the offer still stands?” Viktor asked nervously.

Yuuri could swear he felt his heart skip a beat. “Oh Vitya, of course. My place is always open to you. Um- what are you going to do about work though?” Yuuri doesn’t like to bring it up but he knows he has to. Viktor would have to leave his job.

Viktor swallows his guilt. “I’m just going to become a full time author.”

Yuuri’s face lit up into a smile. “Really?”

Viktor nodded. “I want to live my life. Not my father’s life. And I want to live it with you.”

Yuuri knew there were tears building up in his eyes. “Vitya, that’s so sweet. I would be honored for you to come live with me. Are you positive though?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Viktor said as his hand caressed Yuuri’s cheek. “Can I kiss you, Yuuri?”

Yuuri nodded and closed his eyes. Viktor’s lips gently touched his, moving softly against his own. A warm comforting gesture, something they had both so dearly missed. They pulled away, neither wanting to part.

“I wasn’t supposed to be here very long but I am going to call Minako and extend my stay. I want you to heal up more before we begin packing and moving, okay?” Yuuri questions. He really doesn’t want to miss that much work but it’s necessary. Anything for Viktor. He doesn’t want Viktor doing any strenuous work for awhile.

Yuuri quickly called Minako and explains that he needs more time off. She didn’t question why but she knew it must be important since Yuuri didn’t like to miss work.

“Well,” Yuuri said as he put his phone on the table. “Let’s get some groceries today. I don’t think the takeaway is gonna cut it.”

Viktor looked down at his arms and sighed. His hair still felt clumpy and sticky from blood but his arms hurt a lot. “I’m going to need to shower.” Viktor stated but then gestured to his arms. “Would you be able to help me?”

For a moment Viktor swore he could see the sadness move across his face. How his eyes grew slightly darker and his mouth turned into a small frown. Before Viktor could try to offer anything to make the frown go away Yuuri covered it up. Yuuri softens his eyes and gives a small smile. “Of course, Vitya.”

Showering was a laborious process. Even with Yuuri washing him it was still complicated.Occasionally water would get under the bandages or soak through, causing a horribly painful stinging sensation to run up his arms. Making Viktor scrunch his eyes closed every time.

Thankfully Yuuri was as patient and kind as ever. He only ever handled Viktor with care and love. Letting his hands glide across Viktor’s body with focused precision. Cleaning his hair until the water ran clear. Erasing some of the past few day’s sadness with it. Viktor knew his depression wasn’t magically healed but in the hot shower with Yuuri’s caring hands on him it felt like it for just a moment. Yuuri had this way of making everything else disappear.

Once they were both cleaned they stepped out of the shower and Yuuri dried him before dressing Viktor as though he were the most valuable doll. Carefully tucking in his clothes and brushing his hair how Viktor would do it himself. Though Viktor wishes the circumstances surrounding it were different, there is something so lovely and intimate about letting someone else dress you. Yuuri even bent down and put socks and shoes on Viktor. A firm hand on his ankle. Always careful to put everything on right.

After he was done Yuuri rose from his feet and asked Viktor if everything felt and looked right. All Viktor could do was lean forward and kiss Yuuri gently.

They went to the store and everything felt normal and yet totally wrong. Viktor could feel the tenseness in Yuuri’s shoulders and Viktor could feel the pain in his arms. Viktor led Yuuri through the store and helped to translate the items as Yuuri kept his hand interlaced with Viktor’s, a silent show of support and love. It’s been so long since he has gone to the store with someone, it feels completely typical and yet amazing.

Viktor had gone to the store with Yuuri back in Japan but it was a totally different experience. Russia carries few of the common foods in Japan and vice versa. No doubt Yuuri is searching his brain for recipes that have ingredients at the store. Viktor attempts to be helpful by grabbing some common things needed in most recipes. 

Once they both get enough food to last for awhile they head to the checkout. Viktor attempts to be helpful by putting stuff on the counter but Yuuri didn’t miss the small wince. “Vitya.” Yuuri says softly and lifts one of his hands to his lips to press a soft kiss. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll do it.” He leans closer so only Viktor can hear. “What you need to do today is to just be my beautiful boyfriend, let me take care of you.”

Viktor can feel the blush rising on his cheeks. He wants to be useful but the way Yuuri words it makes it feel like Yuuri is just pampering him instead of something necessary for his health. Yuuri has always been careful with his words like that. You would think since Viktor is the author he would have beautiful and poetic words that were well thought out. Instead his sweet and quiet Yuuri always says the most amazing things and Viktor can’t string together a sentence for the life of him.

Yuuri grabs all the bags and sends Viktor a look when he goes to grab one. They walk back from the store and Yuuri asks questions about the store and what some of the items are. Viktor gladly answers and tells Yuuri a few things about Saint Petersburg, it feels like Yuuri is just here visiting and that nothing is out of the ordinary. They talked earlier in the day about Viktor’s depression and plans for the future but they both know there is a lot they didn’t discuss. They didn’t talk a lot about how Yuuri was feeling or how any of it has impacted them.

Viktor is worried that Yuuri might be blaming himself for what happened. He shouldn’t but it seems like the type of thing Yuuri’s anxiety would lead him to believe. Viktor doesn’t want to bring it up in fear that Yuuri hadn’t actually thought of that but then after Viktor mentions it focusing on it. But there is also the worry that Yuuri is rolling the idea in his head over and over again, just never mentioning it. Viktor decides he is not going to bring it up first but if Yuuri mentions it he wants to make sure they have a long discussion about it. The last things Viktor wants Yuuri to think is that he is responsible for what happened.

To be honest Viktor doesn’t know how to bring some of the stuff up. He has a lot of fears and insecurities swimming around in his head and having to physically say them seems daunting. Like how does he tell Yuuri he is worried he is becoming his abusive ex boyfriend. How does he bring up the guilt of leaving the job his father so desperately wanted him to do. Or that he’s afraid the depression will get even worse. That he doesn’t want to go on medication. That he doesn’t want to seem crazy. That he doesn’t want Yurio to think less of him, for anyone to think less of him. There is just a lot to say and it all seems impossible to say.

They go back to the apartment and Yuuri puts the groceries away as Viktor sits on a nearby chair and watches him. He is going to get to live with Yuuri and help him put away groceries and help him cook. Get to wake up and go to sleep with Yuuri. It makes his heart feel like it is going to float away. Yuuri finishing putting the stuff away and lets out a deep sigh. “Viktor, can I be honest with you?” He states bluntly.

Viktor swallows. “Yes.”

Yuuri bends over and hits his head gently against the counter. “I cannot think of a single meal to cook. Do you have any ideas?”

Viktor feels the tension leave his body and he gives a small laugh, liking the way it makes Yuuri grin in response. “Of course, moya lyubov. I’ll try to think of something.”

Yuuri gets up and walks over to where Viktor is sitting. He leans forward and gently presses his lips against Viktor’s. “Thank you, you’re the best.”

Later after much thinking on Viktor’s part he thought of a simple recipe they could make for dinner. Yuuri wasn’t a big fan of the idea of Viktor helping but he claimed he felt well enough to do it and long as he didn’t do lifting or activities similar.

Yuuri measures the ingredients while Viktor gently stirs the mixture, he doesn’t exactly enjoy the way the motion tugs on his wrist but it’s worth it to be in the kitchen with Yuuri, doing something so domestic.

Every time Yuuri needs something near Viktor he rests his hand gently at the curve in his back, something Viktor had almost forgotten since their time apart. He has missed seeing all of these small things Yuuri does frequently and subconsciously. He loves that he has gotten close enough with Yuuri to start picking up on these habits. Viktor could gladly spend the rest of his life just watching and loving Yuuri. And he intends to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting last week. I ended up not liking the chapter the first time and deleting all of it. Hoping to get back to weekly updates again!
> 
> Also check out a painting for this fic on the blog below. If the link doesn't work just copy and paste it into a search bar.
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/viktuurionart


	5. Chapter 5

“Viktor,” Yuuri sighed, “please don’t make me keep fighting you about this. You know you have to.” Yuuri practically begged as he looked at the clock. It’s been two hours. Yuuri was a patient person but the whole thing was getting to be a bit ridiculous.

Viktor knew he was being irrational, he just didn’t care.

Viktor stayed silent despite the frown growing heavier and heavier on Yuuri’s face, in turn making Viktor feel like the biggest dick on the planet. “Viktor, I can’t know what is going through your head all the time. If you at least explain yourself I might understand and we can talk about it. I don’t understand why you are being like this and it makes me worried.”

Yuuri made a good point but it still wasn’t gonna make him budge. Viktor knew he could tell Yuuri anything but he didn’t want to say this. It felt like too much. It would reveal how truly weak Viktor is. How vain he is. Yuuri has always known he was vain and cared too much about his appearence but this felt different. It wasn’t that Yuuri was going to judge him but almost that Viktor judged himself.

Viktor’s eyes followed Yuuri guiltily as he paced across Viktor’s room, stopping in front of Viktor’s bed where he was sitting under the covers, wrapped up like a burrito. Yuuri looked him up and down and sighed, running a hand over his face. “Well, if I can’t fight you, I will join you.”

Yuuri went to the empty side of the bed and lifted the covers just enough to wiggle under next to Viktor. He slid himself over until he is right next to Viktor. “Can I cuddle you?” Yuuri questions. Viktor stiffens for a second and thinks for a bit before nodding his head and situating himself carefully so his head is on Yuuri’s chest and his legs are intertwined with Yuuri’s, leaving his hands tucked closely to his body.

The bed shifts slightly and Yuuri leans down to press a kiss to the top of Viktor’s head. “I love you, Viktor. I’m sorry if I was short with you, it’s just frustrating because I want to help you and take care of you and I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m trying not to push you but this is a little bit silly. I’m not trying to say why you won’t leave bed is silly because I’m sure it’s not but, it’s a little impractical. I mean, Viktor, you need to leave bed eventually.” Yuuri says as Viktor tries not to cry. He knows he is failing miserably.

“Oh, Viktor.” Yuuri says softly as he leans up a little with Viktor and wipes the tears from his cheeks. “It’s alright. I’m not mad at you or anything I promise. I’m just worried. You know I won’t judge you or anything.” Yuuri says and rubs a hand soothingly down Viktor’s back. “Let’s just try to relax today. We will have a day in bed.” Yuuri says which makes Viktor smile a little. Yuuri runs his hand over Viktor’s cheek gently. “There’s my beautiful boyfriend’s smile.” Yuuri says teasing and smiles brightly when Viktor’s smile only grows and a light blush covers his cheeks and bare chest. Yuuri always knows how to make him laugh.

Yuuri leans forward and presses gentle and quick kisses over Viktor’s face, causing Viktor to giggle lightly and relax. Yuuri presses one final soft kiss to Viktor’s lips before pulling apart. “I’m gonna get us some snacks and my laptop. We can watch a movie together.”

The rest of the day was spent sharing soft kisses and watching movies together. Despite Viktor’s growing comfort there was two problems. 1. He still hadn’t told Yuuri what was wrong. 2. He was really starting to have to pee. Both were problems he realized he was going to have to face soon. 

As credits rolled for the last movie they watched together Viktor knew it was time. “Yuuri?”

Yuuri could tell by the tone of his voice it was serious. Yuuri closed the laptop and lowered it onto the ground before turning and facing Viktor. “Yeah?”

“You know how you took the bandages off of my wrists last night?” Viktor questioned as Yuuri’s eyes searched his face.

Yuuri nodded. “Well-um.” Viktor started.

“Yes?”

“It’s just. It’s embarrassing. I hadn’t realized last night in the dark how bad they looked and now that it’s bright I can tell how bad it looks and I look so ugly.” Viktor said and tried to will the tears starting to form in his eyes to go away. Why is he so weak?

“Oh, Vitya.” Yuuri said softly. “Can I look?” He said gently and let his hand under the blanket connect with Viktor’s.

Viktor nodded and Yuuri brought his arm up onto the top of the covers. Trying to make sure his face didn’t give anything away. It was a shocking sight admittedly. The swollen cuts with dark, healing centers. Yuuri knew the skin would patch itself together but there would always be raised lines there. Yuuri looked up and met Viktor’s eyes, tears running down his face.

Yuuri leaned forward and gently brushed his lips against the cuts. Softly pressing a kiss to each one. “I love you so much.” Yuuri whispered and raised the other arm above the covers and gently press kisses against those cuts as well. “Vitya, there is absolutely nothing about you that is ugly. You are the most beautiful person I know both inside and out.”

Viktors lip quivered. “But isn’t it going to be embarrassing going out in public with me?”

Yuuri quickly pressed his lips against Viktor’s. “There is nothing embarrassing about you and there never will be. You are handsome and funny and cute and sweet. I am so proud to be able to show people you are mine.” Yuuri said and ran a hand through Viktor’s hair.  
“I don’t want people to see the scars.” Viktor said softly.

“Well,” Yuuri began. “You don’t have to show them. If you only want to wear longs sleeves in public I won’t judge you. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to either.”

Viktor nodded. “I don’t want to tell anyone what happened.”

Yuuri thought for a moment. “I just- I don’t want you to cut people out, Viktor. People care about you and want to help. If you don’t want to tell people about the... the suicide I get it but I urge you to tell them about the depression. It’s harder for people to support you when they don’t know what’s going on.”

“I would rather no one know about the suicide.” Viktor stated, watching Yuuri’s eyes. “I’m okay with telling people about the depression but I don’t want to like make an announcement or anything. If it comes up I will tell people but I won’t bring it up if it’s not necessary.” Viktor said nervously.

“Okay.” Yuuri said simply. He doesn’t want to push Viktor. He knows he is in a very fragile place and he doesn’t want to make him do anything he really doesn’t want to do. “I know you told me you want to quit your job. Have you told Yakov yet or even talked to him since you left work?”

Viktor felt a wave of guilt. With everything happening he never thought to call Yakov and tell him he is okay or that he decided to leave his job. No doubt the old man was worried. He knew Viktor would pull stunts occasionally and do something and not call him back for a few days. However, Yakov also knew he was in a delicate state. He was probably concerned.

Eventually Viktor called Yakov and assured the old man he was okay. Yakov also broke the news to Viktor that he was fired due to missing too many days and not calling off. Though it hurt Viktor it also meant he finally was done with the whole business once and for all. He finally could just be an author and be where he wants. Be with Yuuri. Away from Saint Petersburg that has only brought him pain for so long. A city full of bad reminders.

Viktor hung up the phone feeling lighter. It was done. It was finally all over with. There was no more wondering and questioning. The decision was finally made. Yuuri laid a hand gently on Viktor’s arm. “Are you okay?”

Viktor let out a sigh and turned to look at Yuuri. “Yeah, it’s nice. It’s finally done.” Viktor said and couldn’t help but to smile.

“Pretty soon we are going to be in Hasetesu together.” Yuuri said with a warm smile.

Viktor laced his fingers together with Yuuri’s. “We are.” Viktor said and smiled brightly. “I’m really excited.”

“Me too, Vitya.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the update day from saturday due to sunday because sundays just work a lot better for me in general. The chapters have been kinda short because I've been busy and it's hard to write these chapters. As things get a little less heavy I anticipate longer chapter lengths.
> 
> Let me know what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yurio leaves for college.

Yuuri and Viktor packed side by side. Soft music drifting in the room from the stereo in the living room. Once Yuuri packed everything he had brought he went to Viktor’s closet and would return with an arm full of clothes he would drop on the bed and then would fold. Helping Viktor to stuff everything into his suitcases. 

They bought many boxes and Yuuri gently packed all of the things in his apartment that he wanted to bring to Hasetsu. There was surprisingly little. But he also understood. Viktor wanted to leave the bad memories behind. He couldn’t blame him. The only thing Viktor really cared about that he owned was Makkachin and Makka was already in Japan waiting for them.

The process couldn’t help but to feel a little surreal. Sometimes things just happen so fast. A year ago Yuuri never could have imagined this. When he was with Mark he could have never thought he would be in a relationship like this. A relationship of mutual support and love. Yuuri couldn’t wait to be back in Japan with Viktor.

Viktor and Yuuri flew into Hasetsu in the morning, giving them the rest of the evening to help Yurio get ready to return to Saint Petersburg for college. Yurio scoffed when he saw Viktor but hugged him, Viktor wincing but returning the hug regardless. Yurio would never admit he missed Viktor but everyone could tell he did. 

Viktor was more than glad to be reunited with Makkachin who was going to be residing with Yuuri and him now. With their luggage settled at Yuuri’s apartment they went to Minako’s Art Studio for a welcome back/ leaving party. There were a lot of questions about why he returned and what his plans were now. He answered them honestly for the most part. Yurio claimed to hate the party for his going away but Yuuri didn’t miss the small smile on his face and the way he seemed to get a little teary eyed every so often.

“God Yuuri, can we leave yet?” Viktor asked in a whisper. This party was draining him mentally and physically. He realized it was important to socialize and to wish Yurio well but he was so tired.

“Okay, in a minute.” Yuuri said and found Yurio, surrounded by small children he had worked with at the studio. “Can I speak to you for a minute?”

Yurio nodded and carefully pried the students off of his legs. 

“I know you want to be an author Yurio, however, if you ever want a second job, I would be more than glad to have you co teach classes with me and I am sure Minako would even be willing to offer you your own spot in a writing course for children.”

Yurio just opened and closed his mouth for a few seconds. “I need to finish my degree.”

Yuuri laughed lightly. “Of course. I want you to finish your degree. Afterwards though, there will always be a position here for you. I know Viktor would enjoy having you here as well.”

“I might just take you up on that offer. Expect me in about a year.” 

Yuuri and Viktor said goodbye to Yurio and headed back to Yuuri’s apartment. Viktor closing the door with a sigh of relief. Makkachin lifted her head from the couch in greeting.

Once Viktor and Yuuri were situated on the couch Viktor immediately put his arms around Yuuri, resting his head against his soft stomach. “I am glad we got to see Yurio before he left.”

“Yeah, me too.” Yuuri said and gently ran a hand through Viktor’s hair. “You wanna sleep?”

Viktor shook his head no but closed his eyes and inched closer. “Okay, dear.” Yuuri said with a soft laugh but continued to card his hands through his hair as Viktor fell asleep in his lap.

After Yuuri was sure Viktor was asleep he pulled out his phone. He pulled up his work email and began combing through the mess that was his inbox. Phichit had sent him many copies of emails from various places that wanted to feature his works or wished to purchase them. The Agape tour was a huge hit and naturally the art world was already wanting information about when his next line would be released. Yuuri didn’t even have a concept for his next collection. It would be probably at least over a year until he would be ready and even that would be early. Then of course there were multiple people wishing to learn of his identity and for him to do an interview.

Phichit had merchandise in the works for the shop. Yuuri needed to go in to the studio soon and make a bunch of flowers for Phichit to put up on the site. At least Viktor could keep him company while he did it now. Maybe Viktor could type while Yuuri worked on flowers. It would be nice for them to be able to work together.

After going through as many emails as he could Yuuri set his phone down and rubbed his eyes. It seemed he was going to have his hands full for quite some time. He needs to keep up with work and make sure Viktor is taken care of.

He knows Viktor can take care of himself but he is definitely on edge now. He doesn’t necessarily think Viktor is suicidal still but he will probably struggle with his depression from time to time. Yuuri needs to make sure to keep an eye out for it and be able to care for him properly.

As much as he loves Viktor sleeping on him he is starting to get sore from sitting in the same position for the past couple hours, not to mention he is getting hungry.

Yuuri gently nudges Viktor off of him and onto the rest of the couch. Yuuri quietly rummages through draws until he finds take out menus, going into his bedroom to place the order, just getting Viktor what he normally gets.

Since there was about an hour until the food arrives Yuuri just settles into a chair across from Viktor and lets himself watch his handsome boyfriend sleep for a few minutes.

A few minutes before food was meant to arrive Yuuri gently woke Viktor up. The meal was mostly eaten in silence, though not uncomfortable.

Silently they cleared the table and settled onto the couch with Makkachin cuddled up on their feet. “Where do we go from here, Yuuri?” Viktor whispered softly, his cheek pressed up against Yuuri, his head rising and falling with Yuuri’s breathing.

Yuuri was silent for a few seconds. “We keep trying.”

Viktor didn’t say anything for a few moments then he started laughing, his body shaking against Yuuri’s chest. Yuuri scowled at Viktor but soon found himself laughing too. “What?” Yuuri questioned as Viktor continued to laugh.

Finally after a few minutes Viktor wiped his eyes of the tears that built up from laughing and sat up, facing Yuuri. “It’s just. That sounds like the most cliche movie line ever. It sounds so fake.”

Yuuri frowned and glared at Viktor, and here he thought it was a good line.

“Oh don’t be like that.” Viktor said with a smile and used his fingers to push Yuuri’s frown into a smile on his face. “It was very cliche but I liked it. I swear you should be the author and not me.” Viktor said before leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to Yuuri’s lips.

Yuuri raised his hand and set it gently against Viktor’s waist, pulling his body closer. Viktor made a soft sound and moved forward until he was sitting on Yuuri’s lap. They moved their lips slowly against each other’s for many minutes. Viktor broke away from his lips and began pressing gentle kisses down Yuuri’s jaw. “Do you forgive me now?”

Yuuri groaned and ran a hand through Viktor’s hair. “I think it can be arranged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so I am not dead despite the fact it has almost been four months since updating. (yikes sorry about that) I got caught up in college and another Yuuri/Viktor oneshot I have been working on that and it is almost 20,000 words. So if you are pissed it took me so long but like my writing that should be published sometime? soon. I am real excited about it.
> 
> This chapter is basically an "Im not dead and still writing chapter" I have the rest of the story mapped out I just need to write it all. I won't be abandoning this fic. I am hoping to be back and updating on a regular schedule again. If I dont feel free to just comment and nag me every so often since I am almost always checking ao3 regularly.
> 
> So yeah, let me know what you think. And thanks if you are still reading or if you are new to this fic.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phichit requires Yuuri's help.

“There is no way I will be able to fit into these pants.” Yuuri called out to Phichit as he wiggled his hardest into the black skinny jeans. It was mostly his ass that was the problem and his thighs. Skinny jeans do not accommodate thick thighs well.

“I am sure you will manage it somehow.” Phichit said with a laugh. “If they really don’t fit I can get a size up. I am pretty sure they fit you though. This is the size you always wear and if anything you have been losing weight recently.”

A grunt later and a small rip in the side the pants were on. “I think I got them.” Yuuri said, looking himself over in the mirror, buttoning up the gray shirt Phichit provided. It wasn’t a bad look on him. He is just glad the pants didn’t completely split in half.

“Oh good, I am gonna go grab some lights. Get yourself situated.” Phichit called from outside the room.

Yuuri left the bathroom and settled onto the black couch in the middle of the room. What had he gotten himself into? Phichit returned a few minutes later and began setting up the camera.

“Phichit.”

“Yes, my dearest best friend?”

“Are you absolutely positive there is no one else that can do this?”

“Oh there are other people but it absolutely has to be you.”

“I don’t know why I keep owing you favors. It never ends well for me.”

“Don’t worry. You are going to look ravishing.”

“Are you sure you need a human to model the jewelry? Can’t you use like a mannequin or something?”

“Yes, Yuuri. It’s crucial to the message.”

“Why don’t you model your own jewelry?”

“Because A. I want you to. B. because you owe me a favor. Now stop talking and unbutton your shirt more.”

Yuuri groaned but began undoing the buttons on the loose gray dress shirt until there were only a few buttons at the bottom open. Yuuri struggled to not immediately try to cover himself. Couldn’t Phichit turn the heat up a little.

“Delicious. Now, open your pants a bit.” Phichit said as he put more lights on Yuuri laying on the black velvet couch with red drapes behind it.

“Phichiiiiit.” Yuuri groaned and covered his face with his hands.

“Oh stop complaining. Embrace your Eros, Eros.”

Yuuri mumbled more under his breath but undid the zipper in the front.

“Pull them down more so we can see those delicious hip bones.”

“Phichit are you trying to kill me?” Yuuri questioned but wiggled a bit, causing the pants to settle low on his hips, revealing the top of his underwear and as requested his hip bones.

“Actually I am trying to get you to kill me. I need this shoot to be so hot it kills people on sight.”

“Why in the world did you pick me to do this shoot then?”

“Because you have the potential to be the sexiest person on this Earth and it is my job to have your sexy self promote my sexy jewelry.” Phichit said as he finished positioning the camera. He didn’t know how Yuuri thought himself so ugly. Yeah he hasn’t dated many people but that was from a lack of socialization not a lack of looks. 

“Now.” Phichit said walking over to Yuuri with a tray. “Pop in these earrings, put on this choker and take off the jacket to put on this body chain. Maybe leave the shirt completely open after you get everything on.”

Yuuri took the multiple items and began putting them on. “Phichit how in the world do I put this chain on?” Yuuri questioned looking at the silver pieces. He can’t say he has ever worn a body chain.

Phichit came over. “Okay so these go over your arms. This drapes over your chest.” Phichit said as he helped his friend into the light metal chains. “Finish getting ready and I will be back in a second.”

Yuuri finished clasping everything in place and put the open shirt back on. Phichit returned a minute later wearing red lipstick with a container and a blush. “I am gonna slick back your hair.” Phichit said and kneeled in front of Yuuri working his hand in his hair. He was going for full sex appeal today.

After his hair was slicked back Phichit applied blush until Yuuri looked thoroughly blushy and like he just had multiple rounds of good sex.

“What’s with the lipstick?” Yuuri questioned, he didn’t think he had seen Phichit wear lipstick in a long time. Not to mention it was kind of random for him to put lipstick on in the middle of the day.

“Now Yuuri.” Phichit began, resting his butt on his feet.

“Yes?”

“I need you to realize something.”

“What?”

“I promise this is completely platonic.” Phichit said before leaning over and kissing his cheek, his jaw, then pressed a trail of kisses down his chest towards his underwear. Once he reached the edge of his pants he pulled back to smile at Yuuri. “Sorry bout that.” Phichit said with a smile and went back to the camera set up to look at Yuuri through the lense. That definitely did the job.

“Phichit.” Yuuri hissed. “What was that?”

“Well I had to put lipstick kiss prints on you and I wasn’t about to call Viktor here to just ravish you for a couple minutes. Then you wouldn’t have been able to focus anyway. I need my model at his best.” Phichit explained as though it was very obvious.

“God this is ridiculous. I probably look like an idiot. And I can’t believe you did that. What is Viktor going to say when he sees these photos?” Yuuri complained. He can’t believe his best friend just put a bright red lipstick mark on his hip bone. 

“He will probably get jealous and you two will have wickedly hot jealousy sex. He knows I am not single anyway.”

Yuuri smiled and laughed lightly. “Okay, fair. That doesn’t sound too bad.”

“Now. Let’s get this shoot started. Now my sweet, shy, friend. I need you to give me your best bedroom eyes.”

“Oh lord. I don’t know how I am going to manage this. It’s so awkward with you here.”

Phichit sighed. “Okay, how about this. I will set the camera to take a picture every thirty seconds for five minutes. I will leave for five minutes and you give me your sexiest content. The only rule is no frontal nudity. Besides that get creative. When I get back I will take a look and then based on that we will see what we need to do. Okay? I need your most filthy content.”

Yuuri let out a sigh. “Okay, we can try that.”

“I’m setting it now. Seduce me Katsuki!” Phichit called as he left the room, the door closing softly behind him.

Yuuri took a deep breath and let his body fall against the couch, a leg on the couch and the other on the ground, his legs spread open. He saw the camera flash and began rearranging himself, laying fully down on the couch his back against the couch, his hips raised up, the shirt falling down around him, the body chains draping over him as he bit his lip and looked into the camera. Another flash.

He sat up in the center of the couch and put a hand in his hair, his mouth open a little, a sultry look on his eyes that Viktor always loves. If nothing else he could keep that picture for himself and give it to Viktor.

A flash.

Yuuri did a similar pose but spread his legs and rested his hand on the inside of his pants as the camera flashed.

Yuuri laid on his side, his stomach facing the camera, his face propped up by his hand. Flash.

Yuuri quickly shed the shirt and did the same pose. After it flashed again Yuuri took a deep breath. 

He got onto his back and rested a hand on his chest and the other on top of his groin. “I can’t believe I am doing this.” Yuuri grumbled to the silent room but shifted into a new pose after the flash. 

Yuuri pulled a few strands down from his hair and let them hang over his face. He sat up with his legs spread and bit his lip, a hand in his hair and a hand draped over the couch.

“Last one.” Yuuri mumbled and decided he should make it count. He put his knees on the couch, his back to the camera, his elbows propping his up against the back of the couch. He pulled his underwear down until it was obscenely low and turned just in time to shoot the camera a sultry look with the silver chains resting against his muscular back. He might have to buy some body chains. There is a certain appeal to them.

Yuuri settled back into a normal position on the couch just as Phichit entered the room. “How did it go?” Phichit asked.

“Good?” Yuuri said as a question as his friend began to flip through the photos. He legitimately tried to do well for the shoot. No matter how ridiculous it felt. He wants it to come out good for Phichit.

“Oh lord.” Phichit said.

“That bad?” Yuuri asked with a grimace. He knew he must have looked ridiculous. He doesn’t know why he agreed to this.

“Yuuri. These are definitely not bad.” Phichit said and subtly shifted on his feet. Phichit cleared his throat. “These will work. I’ll get you new jewelry and we can do more photos.” Phichit said. Viktor was one lucky man.

They ran through several more sets of jewelry until Phichit called it a day and told Yuuri he would email him the photos he decided on. Phichit got Yuuri a makeup wipe and vaguely gestured at his body. “I would make sure those lipstick marks are gone before you go outside.”

Yuuri thanked him and cleared the lipstick off of himself, putting on a pair of jeans and sweater, not bothering to fix his hair into his normal look. He doesn’t mind his hair like that and he knows Viktor likes it.

Yuuri went home and found Viktor sitting on the ground playing with Makkachin. “Yuuri!” Viktor called. “How was the shoot?”

Yuuri took of his shoes and settled on the ground with him. “I think it was okay. What have you been doing?”

“Well,” Viktor said. “I gave Makkachin a bath and we took a nice walk. I also found recipes online I thought we could try. I washed our bedding and made our bed as well.”

“Wow, you’ve been busy.” Yuuri said and leaned over Makkachin to press his lips against Viktor’s. 

Viktor hummed softly against his lips. He pulled back and bit his lip. “I see your hair got styled. You know I love it like this. I mean I love it without product because it is so soft but the product lets me see your amazing eyes better.” Viktor murmured before catching Yuuri’s lips again.

“Will I be getting to see the photos?” Viktor asks.

“Phichit said he would email me the ones he uses. I could ask for the rest of them though.”

“I would like that if that’s okay with you. We can hang them up.”

“Viktor!” Yuuri said and hit him playfully on the shoulder. “We are not putting suggestive pictures of me in our home.”

“What about in the bedroom?” Viktor asked with a pout.

“What if someone goes in our room?”

“Then they will see what they are missing out on.”

“Viktor this is a hard no from me.”

“Oh alright. But I still want copies. I will tuck them away in my bedside table for… private viewings.” Viktor said with a smirk which made Yuuri laugh and blush because he knew Viktor wasn’t joking.

“You’re terrible.” Yuuri said with a laugh.

“And I am all yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun writing this. Hope you enjoyed it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri gets a call.

“Viktor!”

“Yes, my dearest love?” Viktor replied innocently.

Yuuri glared at Viktor, not buying his act for a single second. “Would you happen to know who put a giant heart out to dry with our initials carved in it?”

“Why it was me of course. Since my class with you ended I need to keep improving my ceramic skills somehow.” Viktor said, batting his eyelashes.

“I feel like a giant heart is a step down from the last thing you made.” Yuuri said with a smile creeping up on his face. “There is a lot less skill involved.”

“But think about how cute it will be in the apartment.”

Yuuri walked over to where Viktor is sitting with his computer and settles into the chair next to him. “And where exactly is it going in the apartment?”

Viktor paused and made a thinking face. “We could use it as a paperweight for my books?”

Yuuri settles his hand over top of Viktor’s. “I hate to admit it but that’s not a bad idea.” Yuuri says.

“I always have good ideas.” Viktor says in mock offense.

Yuuri tilts his head and puts a finger on his chin. “I’m not so sure that’s true.”

Viktor gasps. “Yuuuuri, so mean.”

Yuuri lets out a small giggle, leaning forward to softly kiss Viktor. “Sorry, dear. I just can’t help myself when you are so cute.”

Viktor puts a hand on the back of Yuuri’s neck to bring him in for more kisses. “Mmm, no more talking, just kissing.” Viktor mumbles and presses himself closer to Yuuri for more kisses.

Just as things were starting to heat up the distinct sound of the door being flung open interrupts them, the both pull apart to glare at the intruder. “Sorry to interrupt cuties but daddy Phichit needs to talk to you two.”

“Please stop calling yourself that. I beg you.” Yuuri says as Viktor nods in agreement. No one even knows why Phichit has started calling himself that but its tragic at best.

“No can do, friends. Anyway! There is an art festival downtown in a few days, Minako wants each of us to set up a both and show pieces as well as sell. She says it’s good for business.”

“How long do I need to be there?” Yuuri asks, he can already see himself stuck outside for hours selling one piece an hour for twenty bucks.

“Well it starts at 12. I would guess until 6 or 7?” Phichit says, walking into the kiln room to look at the pieces. “Also, is that huge ass heart Viktor’s doing?”

“What do you think?” Yuuri calls back.

Phichit steps out of the room and gives Viktor a thumbs up. “You got a lot of good pieces in there.”

“Yeah.” Yuuri says with a smile. “The little ones are really good this year. They love making animals and getting to paint them.”

“I have a young group making bracelets and they are so cute. The bracelets are so small, I always forget how tiny children’s hands are.” Phichit says squealing a little bit. Phichit heads to the door, walking backwards so he can face Yuuri. “Well I am gonna clean up for the day. I will text you the rest of the details for the festival. It shouldn’t be a big deal. Maybe make a few small things parents can buy for their children or something. Nothing major.”

“Will do. I might have a few things laying around anyway.”

“Sounds good. You two have a good night.”

“Bye.” Yuuri calls as Viktor waves, the door closing behind him.

Once Phichit is gone Yuuri groans. “Ugh, I hate the art festivals.”

Viktor closes his laptop and faces Yuuri. “Why?”

“It’s just- there are so many people. It’s crowded. And busy. And not many people buy things. And if they do they are the cheapest things. So I am stuck outside for like seven hours and sell like ten things.”

Viktor reaches over and begins to rub circles on Yuuri’s back. “I get that, that would probably annoy me too. I guess just try and make it as fun as possible and hopefully it will pass fast.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Yuuri says and softly kisses Viktor.

“Now, how would you feel about dinner out?” Viktor asks with a soft smile. It had been over two months since he moved in with Yuuri and it has been great. Due to their busy schedules though sometimes they aren’t able to have meals with each other and since they are both done for the day it seems like the perfect chance.

“Sounds good to me. Where are we gonna go?” Yuuri questions as he gets up to finish cleaning up the place. He loves working with children but they aren’t exactly known for being neat.

“I was thinking the little italian place?”

“Perfect.”

After Yuuri finishes locking up the room they decide to walk to the restaurant. They settle into a table near the back of the restaurant, a candle in the center of the table. 

Once their orders are placed they have comfortable conversation. Yuuri naturally talks less and Viktor is almost always a constant stream of conversation, the dynamic works well for them. In the middle of Viktor telling a story (one he has heard many times) Yuuri’s phone buzzes. 

“Oh, one second. I need to take this.” Yuuri says apologetically to Viktor and stands to head outside. 

Viktor just smiles in understanding as Yuuri leaves and takes the call outsides. Fortunately for Viktor the restaurant has large windows at the front of the restaurant so he just watches his cute boyfriend pace back and forth during the call. He has to admit, he is a little curious who is calling him.

Yuuri came back a few minutes later, his lips a harsh line, his eyebrows furrowed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Um, Mark called me.”

Viktor’s blood ran cold. “What did he want?” As far as Viktor knew they hadn’t talked in years.

Yuuri ran his hands over his face, he could feel them shaking. “He said he is going to Japan and he wants to visit me this weekend.” Yuuri says softly, making himself take a deep breath.

“What did you say?”

“I told him I was busy but then he said it didn’t matter what time so I panicked and hung up the phone” Yuuri says, he can tell his voice is shaking. Can anyone blame him though? His ex boyfriend he hasn’t talked to in years calls him randomly and wants to meet up. It sounds like a sure plan for disaster.

Viktor leans forward and takes Yuuri’s hands in his, his thumbs sweeping across his knuckles gently. “What do you want to do?”

Yuuri bit his lip. “I don’t know, he’s trapped me. I can’t hide from him forever, no doubt he would find me in this small town in a week at the max but I really don’t want to see him.”

“We could go on a little vacation. Maybe he will get sick of waiting and leave?” Viktor suggest.

“I already have taken so much time off though.” Yuuri reminds Viktor.

“Isn’t your intermediate class ending early this Friday? We could go on a small three day vacation. If nothing else it will help you relax. And you wouldn’t miss the festival or anything.”

“I mean, that’s not a bad idea. What about you though? Don’t you need to be writing?” Yuuri asks softly.

“I can work extra hard next week and take a couple days off.” Viktor says with a soft smile, the one that looks vaguely heart shaped and melts Yuuri’s heart every time.

Yuuri can feel himself let out a huge sigh of relief. He doesn’t like to spend money frivolously. However, this might just be an exception. He doesn’t want to deal with Mark and the idea of a small vacation with his boyfriend does sound amazing.

It might actually work. Yuuri is suddenly very glad they ordered wine with dinner and lets himself drink his whole glass. “So where are we gonna go on our little vacation?”

Before Viktor can comment the waiter brings their dishes, laying out the pasta and bread over the table. “How about Italy?” Viktor asks with a small laugh as he looks at the table. They both love Italian food and neither had been there before. It was about time they got some Italian food that was authentic.

Yuuri pauses with the fork near his mouth and lets out a small laugh. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah! Wouldn’t it be fun. We could drink wine and eat pasta.” Viktor explains. “Think of how relaxing and fun.”

“Oh my God you are crazy but I love it.” Yuuri says. Only Viktor would hear small weekend vacation and pick Italy.

After they found their solution the meal became pleasant again after two airplane tickets were ordered and a hotel booked. The food was good, the wine even better. By the time they left they both felt fuzzy and pleasant.

Viktor escorted Yuuri out of the restaurant, a hand on his waist that seemed to seep heat into his skin. “That was nice.” Yuuri said with a sloppy grin, his head burrowed against Viktor’s body. He was full and happy, his limbs seemed heavy and slow.

They lazily made their way back to their apartment, the crisp air helping to cool down their flushed skin. The trip taking much longer than normal, their hands roaming as they walked, making them stop occasionally to kiss and touch each other. Not caring that they seemed like a pair of teenagers.

Viktor pulled Yuuri against his body, using his hand to angle Yuuri’s head, baring his neck for him in the dark evening air. His body golden colored under the streetlights, his skin looking perfect for marking..

Viktor nibbled down his neck, his hand slowly descending down his back, stopping at the dip above his butt. He loves the way Yuuri softly sighs against him.

”Viktor.” Yuuri moans softly against him. “Inside, we need to go inside.”

A few more kisses are pressed to his neck, then Viktor is pulling him towards the apartment. He unlocked it swiftly and pushed him inside, his back pressed against the wall. “Mmm, Yuuri, can I mark you?” Viktor asks against his skin, his lips moving down his neck, his hands going up his shirt. He feels so warm and soft. Absolutely perfect.

Yuuri nods and moved his head to expose more of his neck, showing Viktor all of the side. Viktor immediately went to work, biting and sucking his neck. Making a trail from jaw to chest. Making sure to go over the marks gently with kisses and licks to soothe the reddened skin that grew darker.

Yuuri moved against him, seeking friction. His hips unable to stay still. He always loves when Viktor decides he wants to mark him and be a little more aggressive than usual.

Yuuri moved his hands to Viktor’s butt, kneading the flesh with his hands. “We should take this to the bedroom.” Yuuri said as Viktor began to unbutton his pants. Viktor pulled back and looked at his flushed face, he looked so ruffled and delicious, just waiting for more. 

“That’s a great idea, my dear.” Viktor agreed.

Just at that moment Makkachin decided to wake up, trotting over to them and jumped up on Viktor. Her claws digging into his thigh, demanding attention.

Viktor groaned. “I will take Makkachin out. You wait for me in the bedroom?” Viktor said hopefully.

Yuuri let out a soft laugh. “Of course, be fast.” He said teasingly and went to their bedroom to strip and wait for his boyfriend.

Once Yuuri was in their bedroom Viktor got the leash and clipped it on Makkachin. “I can’t believe you Makkachin. I thought you wanted me to be happy.” Viktor said with a pout, looking down at his beloved dog.

Makkachin just looked at VIktor and wagged her tail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very excited for the next couple of chapters. I'll be writing about their little vacation and how they deal with Mark.
> 
> Sorry for the slow updates, college has been crazy. Midterms and scheduling are always busy. I am hoping to write a few more chapters for this part of the series and then begin the next little section.
> 
> Thanks if you are still reading!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small vacation.

Yuuri always knew his boyfriend was extra, but it seemed Viktor was taking it to a whole new level. Their small impromptu vacation brought out a side of Viktor that was all luxury and poshness.

It seemed Yuuri’s interaction with Mark had made Viktor want to step up his game. His normally nice clothes were traded in for even nicer clothes. His shirts only seemed to be silk or velvet. Something Yuuri didn’t actually mind, it somehow made it even more pleasant to touch his boyfriend. He couldn’t see to keep his hands to himself if he tried.

In an attempt to relax Yuuri, Viktor took him to all of the most picturesque places he could find. And when that didn’t completely do the job, wine sure did. The few days off were spent in a haze of wine and beautiful hills with Viktor’s arm permanently wrapped around Yuuri. It seemed Yuuri could always feel the burning of his touch.

The plane ride back was mostly silent. Yuuri would doze every few hours and rest his head against Viktor. His face gently pressed to the side of Viktor’s neck.

The arrived back at their apartment in the evening. The sun was lowering and the sounds around them were familiar and kind. The warm feeling that had surrounded them seemed to cling, giving the whole day a dreamlike quality. “Well, what would you like to do with the rest of the evening?” Viktor asked coming up behind Yuuri who was hanging up clothes.

Yuuri leaned back until Viktor’s front was pressed up behind him and sighed. There was something so comforting about Viktor’s strong frame pressed behind him; the steady heartbeat he has come to love beating against his back. “I’m not sure. Maybe we could just watch something and relax. There is still some cake in the fridge.” Yuuri said quietly.

Viktor let his hands softly run over Yuuri’s sides, his hands settling on his hips, his thumb rubbing circles on his hip bones. Viktor pressed a delicate kiss to the side of his neck letting himself linger. This skin was so soft and supple.

Yuuri always thought there was something so sexy and intimate about when Viktor would be pressed against his back, pressing soft kisses to him. There was something so vulnerable and tantalizing. “I’ll pick us a movie and you get us some snacks.” Viktor said, pulling Yuuri around and into a hug.

Yuuri laughed as Viktor tightened his hold around him, pressing against him firmly.. “Okay, okay. You know you have to let me go to do that though, right?”

Viktor grumbled and placed kisses all over Yuuri’s face. “But I don’t want to.” He said with a pout.

“Just for a second, and then we can cuddle all night long.”

Viktor let out a long sigh. “Fine, but hurry.” Viktor said, letting go of Yuuri.

Yuuri pressed a short kiss to his cheek and went into the kitchen, grabbing a bag of popcorn and two plates with cake on them and bringing them into the living room and placing them on the table. Viktor returned a moment later after putting the movie in and covered them both in a blanket, making sure to tuck it around their bodies.

Yuuri handed Viktor the larger piece of cake and settled in next to him. Viktor had pulled up an animated film and waited eagerly for Yuuri to return. “I missed you.”

Yuuri sighed but couldn’t hide the smile on his face. “I miss you too, you ridiculous ridiculous man.” 

Viktor gave him a large grin and pressed play on the movie. The watched the movie cuddled next to each other, occasionally stealing a bit of food from the other. Viktors soft laugh filling the room every so often when the main character did something dumb on the screen. His eyes would crinkle and his arm around Yuuri would tighten. In those moments Yuuri didn’t think about the scars littering his arms, Mark wanting to talk to him, what Yuuri was going to do about his career or anything else. The soft and pure love and join in the room was enough to combat his anxiety and doubts. Even if it was just for the length of one movie.

Yuuri tried not to but he could feel himself slipping into sleep. It was all too perfect, and he was tired from the flight. Viktor was warm and comforting and home. And the perfect bed.

The next time Yuuri woke up it was completely dark and Viktor was snoring softly against him. Yuuri fished his phone out of his pocket and looked at the time mumbling softly in the process.

Yuuri nudged Viktor awake much to his displeasure. “Yuuri, why would you make me move. You’re too cruel.”

“Viktor it’s 11 at night. I have to do that art festival tomorrow. We need to go to bed and get some sleep.”

Viktor groaned but swung his legs over the end of the couch and stood up, putting his hands in Yuuri’s. “Alright. I suppose that’s a valid answer.”

They stumbled in the dark into bed and crawled in together. Occasionally stopping to peel off items of clothing. As soon as they were both in bed Viktor immediately wrapped his arms around Yuuri and settled against him. “Goodnight, love. Sleep well.”

“Goodnight, Viktor. Don’t forget to pick Makka up tomorrow.”

“Of course, darling. Now get some sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. It's been awhile. I want to start posting more regularly again and what better way than to ease myself into it. So I apologize the chapter is short and I haven't updated in 12 billion years. Things have been crazy and life happened. I stand by my promise though, this fic will never truly be abandoned unless I die so. Here it is.


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